Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize