talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I don't think brook has ever known best
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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