So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize