I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
And then he peed in my hair
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