i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
