why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So vagazzling was a success
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize