god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
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this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
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I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs