Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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