no, he came in my armpit
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Rumble strips road head = magical
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
