Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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