talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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