pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
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