At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
