i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
