i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
