First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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