Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
