Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
