ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
