This is not my ceiling
Swine flu. Run for my life!
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize