Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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