Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
