apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
