Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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