All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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