Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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