Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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