Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(512): View more from Texas

I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.

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(937): View more from Ohio

He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling

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(440): View more from Ohio

i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay

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