he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
