My room smells like vodka and shame
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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