Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?

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(248): I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you? http://tfl.nu/mhei

Replies (8) Good night (2135) Bad night (460)
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(503): View more from Oregon

He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat

(1-503): View more from Oregon

Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.

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(503): He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat (1-503): Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby. http://tfl.nu/xtdn

Replies (68) Good night (4017) Bad night (1070)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"

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(202): you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!" http://tfl.nu/xr8i

Replies (46) Good night (5482) Bad night (538)
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(206): View more from Washington

Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.

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(206): Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though. http://tfl.nu/6g66

Replies (27) Good night (1808) Bad night (5630)
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(410): View more from Maryland

He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.

(1-410): View more from Maryland

True romance of the 21st century.

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(410): He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too. (1-410): True romance of the 21st century. http://tfl.nu/laza

Replies (62) Good night (13224) Bad night (1233)
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(206): View more from Washington

She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.

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(206): She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers. http://tfl.nu/uzdb

Replies (3) Good night (2349) Bad night (695)
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(816): View more from Missouri

i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino

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(816): i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino http://tfl.nu/4r5s

Replies (9) Good night (1807) Bad night (778)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.

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(918): Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either. http://tfl.nu/yx3m

Replies (12) Good night (2313) Bad night (485)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.

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(262): You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery. http://tfl.nu/1z8w

Replies (2) Good night (1797) Bad night (453)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?

(1-248): View more from Michigan

Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup

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(248): Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier? (1-248): Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup http://tfl.nu/318d

Replies (0) Good night (496) Bad night (881)
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(989): View more from Michigan

I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.

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(989): I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed. http://tfl.nu/yar6

Replies (1) Good night (370) Bad night (326)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet

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(201): I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet http://tfl.nu/6676

Replies (0) Good night (583) Bad night (269)
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(214): View more from Texas

I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.

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(214): I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet. http://tfl.nu/p5x6

Replies (4) Good night (604) Bad night (207)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks

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(306): I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks http://tfl.nu/ndt4

Replies (10) Good night (797) Bad night (383)
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(602): View more from Arizona

I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.

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(602): I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite. http://tfl.nu/08rf

Replies (5) Good night (910) Bad night (248)

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