i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.