Texts From Last Night

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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.

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  (252): He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm. http://tfl.nu/eaqz
  Replies (58) Good night (2241) Bad night (6188)
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  (845): View more from New York

  People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk

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  (845): People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk http://tfl.nu/qmhf
  Replies (4) Good night (5691) Bad night (534)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.

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  (847): This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword. http://tfl.nu/au8n
  Replies (12) Good night (4067) Bad night (1052)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.

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  (786): And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots. http://tfl.nu/xlfm
  Replies (3) Good night (3154) Bad night (929)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.

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  (262): we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat. http://tfl.nu/5cls
  Replies (5) Good night (5563) Bad night (777)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake

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  (405): He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake http://tfl.nu/082h
  Replies (6) Good night (3147) Bad night (892)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers

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  (603): Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers http://tfl.nu/0i28
  Replies (5) Good night (1825) Bad night (743)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.

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  (407): Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season. http://tfl.nu/9ccu
  Replies (5) Good night (1492) Bad night (825)
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  (607): View more from New York

  you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship

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  (607): you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship http://tfl.nu/e8ub
  Replies (5) Good night (2026) Bad night (703)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!

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  (410): She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success! http://tfl.nu/k1zi
  Replies (10) Good night (1747) Bad night (542)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?

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  (908): I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember? (610): Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead? http://tfl.nu/yv69
  Replies (13) Good night (1294) Bad night (525)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.

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  (443): well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud. http://tfl.nu/je7g
  Replies (2) Good night (1701) Bad night (679)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.

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  (501): There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success. http://tfl.nu/8q5q
  Replies (4) Good night (1370) Bad night (321)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std

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  (516): Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM (973): I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std http://tfl.nu/e0ex
  Replies (2) Good night (399) Bad night (318)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks

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  (804): She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks http://tfl.nu/ro6s
  Replies (3) Good night (756) Bad night (143)

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