its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I am one with the molecules
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
