Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
