Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I cannot find my penis.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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