Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
