if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I met the friendliest cop last night
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize