turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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