If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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