i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
