I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
i think im in europe. pls send help
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
