it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
