I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
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"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
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This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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