I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
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Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
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Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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