Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
