didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
