Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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