For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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