remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
