Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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