i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
she looked like the before picture.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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