She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
