apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
