Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
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