I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize