were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
