I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
This is the high leading the old right now
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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