that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize
