party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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