Texts From Last Night

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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".

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  (401): My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets". http://tfl.nu/hqdk
  Replies (15) Good night (8777) Bad night (1321)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.

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  (269): Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option. http://tfl.nu/dknj
  Replies (22) Good night (6509) Bad night (1304)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.

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  (206): She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again. http://tfl.nu/x87e
  Replies (45) Good night (2039) Bad night (5828)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.

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  (520): Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already. http://tfl.nu/ffp6
  Replies (18) Good night (4903) Bad night (1225)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.

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  (703): Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk. http://tfl.nu/el36
  Replies (12) Good night (6911) Bad night (1440)
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  (+32): View more from Belgium

  this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk

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  (+32): this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk http://tfl.nu/muj2
  Replies (8) Good night (3144) Bad night (1065)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...

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  (207): It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester... http://tfl.nu/gus9
  Replies (4) Good night (2807) Bad night (893)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.

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  (214): Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2. http://tfl.nu/7wyo
  Replies (7) Good night (2393) Bad night (780)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.

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  (330): Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay. http://tfl.nu/7dwn
  Replies (4) Good night (1817) Bad night (920)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.

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  (215): the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul. http://tfl.nu/vout
  Replies (11) Good night (1918) Bad night (896)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha

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  (402): I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha http://tfl.nu/npx2
  Replies (9) Good night (1415) Bad night (555)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile

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  (570): Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile (1-570): FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile http://tfl.nu/2z1a
  Replies (0) Good night (1090) Bad night (369)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  "He was so not worth staining my backseat for."

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  (720): "He was so not worth staining my backseat for." http://tfl.nu/nr5f
  Replies (3) Good night (377) Bad night (720)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.

  (1-952): View more from Minnesota

  The tryst?

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.

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  (952): I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst. (1-952): The tryst? (952): The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity. http://tfl.nu/9sse
  Replies (2) Good night (1036) Bad night (348)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink

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  (610): As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink http://tfl.nu/pij1
  Replies (1) Good night (311) Bad night (169)

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