Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.

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  (630): If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her. http://tfl.nu/sljo
  Replies (30) Good night (624) Bad night (2413)
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  (650): View more from California

  like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.

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  (650): like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it. http://tfl.nu/vsdn
  Replies (13) Good night (945) Bad night (1945)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.

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  (306): I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help. http://tfl.nu/3amb
  Replies (29) Good night (706) Bad night (3839)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?

  (1-302): View more from Delaware

  That's okay, it's all protein anyway.

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  (302): Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!? (1-302): That's okay, it's all protein anyway. http://tfl.nu/dhny
  Replies (68) Good night (3726) Bad night (894)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.

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  (706): don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me. http://tfl.nu/kxxf
  Replies (26) Good night (6729) Bad night (1228)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.

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  (865): And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly. http://tfl.nu/a3gz
  Replies (21) Good night (5902) Bad night (857)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this

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  (864): Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this http://tfl.nu/9hno
  Replies (9) Good night (4543) Bad night (1380)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night

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  (314): You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night http://tfl.nu/nbdz
  Replies (13) Good night (1635) Bad night (4409)
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  (818): View more from California

  Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party

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  (818): Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party http://tfl.nu/iq5f
  Replies (12) Good night (1421) Bad night (667)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that

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  (780): Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that http://tfl.nu/j30v
  Replies (5) Good night (935) Bad night (552)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?

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  (508): I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself? http://tfl.nu/e252
  Replies (3) Good night (1061) Bad night (461)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.

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  (203): No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places. http://tfl.nu/z30e
  Replies (0) Good night (729) Bad night (334)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!

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  (859): How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair! http://tfl.nu/4980
  Replies (5) Good night (567) Bad night (354)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  It was "against protocol"

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  (479): I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me. (479): It was "against protocol" http://tfl.nu/5591
  Replies (5) Good night (740) Bad night (309)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks

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  (870): she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks http://tfl.nu/glna
  Replies (0) Good night (306) Bad night (962)

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