Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking