Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(+44): View more from England

Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...

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(613): View more from Ontario

Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(510): View more from California

I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear

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(954): View more from Florida

I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?

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(850): View more from Florida

After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs

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