So how was he last night?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.