Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
