Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
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Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
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The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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