I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How external is "for external use only"?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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