Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
