no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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